After my little adventure, my parents always made sure that there was no livestock in the field when we went out for our Sunday picnics.
As a result, I grew up wanting to work with animals and it was "just keep it as a hobby dear". Years later, the opportunity arose to work on a local farm. For the first 6 months I was given all the jobs no one else wanted to do but I didn’t care, I had found my dream job. In the end my boss gave up and I learnt on the job from him.
One of my tasks was starting work at 5.30 am getting all the equipment ready to milk the cows. After a couple of months following my boss about, he let me loose on my own in the dairy, lord help the girls. On one particular cold winter’s morning everything in the dairy was frozen. After hitting the compressor switch a number of times and waiting for it to burst into life it was not having any of it. Rather than wait for the boss, as he would always come and look over the parlour door just to make sure everything was running smoothly, I got on and started to milk in the traditional manor of hand milking and hoped he would not be too late this morning.
Everything started alright until I got to the cow from hell. There is always one in ever herd. The radio was playing one of those catchy tunes and I was feeling pretty pleased with myself, but was being lulled into a false sense of security.
One-minute I was sat on the stool at the side of Maud with a quarter of a bucket of milk and then the next minute I was sat on the floor wearing the bucket, surrounded by milk at this point Maud learnt a few new Spanish words.
At which point on cue my boss walked in he looked at me by now the bucket had been removed and placed back on the floor leaving a large puddle of milk and one very smug looking cow, to which have you tried starting the machine my boss hit the milking compressor switch with an instant result of the milking machine ready to finish the morning milking.
I took all the milk back to the dairy in churns via the little pick-up truck and unloaded them, Saturday morning was a busy day as I had a certain number of orders for whole milk collections and the rest of the milk was used for separating and making cream.
Unfortunately, we were going to be short thanks to me trying to have a new hair shampoo complement of Maud, my boss walked in and said I would have to go and get some extra milk from his dairy neighbour if I hurried I would make it before the milk lorry arrived.
His neighbour was still milking I though at least I will not get an ear bashing, so I back the pick up to the outside of the electric fence, and then proceeded to climb over with drastic result’s I got half way over and realised he had the electric fence on well put it like this he heard me swearing like a trouper over the noise of his milking machine.
Well instead of switching the flaming thing off he just stood there and roared with laughter let’s just say it brought tears to my eyes, so he hit the switch it took me a few minutes not to let ripe at him.
I left leaving his neighbour still laughing to himself on arriving back
at the farm my boss took one look at my face and said couldn’t you get any milk, o’yes but someone had his flaming electric fence outside the dairy on and I got struck half way over instead of getting any sympathy last heard walking up the yard
laughing his face off.
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